As part of my coaching and mentoring, I’m often required to hold my clients accountable for the tasks they have chosen to undertake. It is easy to think of this role as just prodding someone. But, and this is a big but, it takes a lot of thought as to what is ‘the best way’ to motivate them, in a constructive way.
Some character styles are happy with a ‘verbal’ kick up the rear; that’s enough to get them back on track. Whist others need help refocusing on their goals’ and why they chose them in the first place – delivered in a way that suits their character style. There is a very fine line between being bossy/nagging, and constructively motivating someone to achieve their goal.
I have seen a number of people become demotivated when ‘bullied’ by the coaching approach. Not everyone reacts in the same way. There is no single approach.
So, as a motivator of people, I implore coaches/mentors to take time to work out the best way to help get someone on track with their tasks. After all, it’s about how well the coachee does, not how clever the coach seems.
I’ve worked with clients, where much of my work, revolves around rebuilding their self-esteem after a poor experience. This can also be from well-meaning family and friends. The ‘just pull yourself together’ or ‘just do it’ type of approach doesn’t often help. We work on the ‘how to achieve it’.
One of my clients calls me their ‘jiminy Cricket’ like the character in Dumbo; who is Dumbo’s conscience. I’ve been told, more than once, by clients that they have thought of me, and what I’d be saying if I was there; and feeling motivated to get the task done. “even when he’s not here, I can still hear the damn man”.
It can feel a bit hash to tell someone they need to do more/do less, or change; but if I don’t, it means ‘Nothing Inside me Cares Enough (NICE) to tell them how it is. We usually only really reach our potential when pushed. That’s what the coach is for.
Make sure that the coaching/mentoring you choose, uses the style of accountability that suits you.
Email me firstname.lastname@example.org if you would like to find out more.